Dale Carnegie is a name that echoes throughout the halls of personal development, his influence undiminished by time. Over six decades after his passing, Carnegie’s wisdom on forging relationships and mastering communication continues to enrich countless lives worldwide. His timeless masterpiece, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, published in 1931, remains a beacon in the self-help genre and stands proud as Amazon’s 11th most-sold non-fiction book of all time.
Dale Carnegie Profile:
Died: November 1st, 1955 (aged 66)
Occupation: Author & Motivational Speaker
Areas of Focus: Relationships & Communication
The Life of Dale Carnegie:
In the late 1800s, Dale Carnegie emerged from humble beginnings in the far northeastern reaches of Missouri. Despite the hardships of rural life and the financial struggles of his farming parents, Dale’s ambition remained untamed. His story defied the odds, transforming from a farmer’s son to a revolutionary figure in understanding relationships and communication.
From an early age, Carnegie was drawn to public speaking, acting, and debate. His passion for communication began to take shape during his high school years, with the Chautauqua Lecture Series, a popular local event, being a significant influence. His pursuit of education led him to the Teachers State College in Warrensburg, Missouri, where he further sharpened his communication skills and excelled in speaking competitions. It was here that he found his true calling in the subjects he was most passionate about.
Like many inspirational figures, Carnegie’s path to prominence was a gradual journey. He explored various industries and even served in the army before he discovered a career that truly ignited his passion. His early career began in sales, but a deep-seated desire to perform led him to New York City with dreams of becoming a theater actor. However, his stint in acting and subsequent military service only reaffirmed his deeper passion for communication and public speaking.
His first venture into the world of communication came as an assistant on a traveling lecture course led by renowned speaker and broadcaster Lowell Thomas. After the tour, Carnegie, driven by his passion for public speaking and communication, decided to teach a public speaking course for adults at a local Y.M.C.A. The course was met with great enthusiasm and led to the establishment of the Dale Carnegie Institute in 1912.
Carnegie published his first book, “Public Speaking and Influencing Men of Business”, in 1913. However, it was in 1931, after years of intensive research, that the now immortalized self-help icon’s magnum opus, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, was published.
Dale Carnegie’s influence spanned the globe, with his 11 published books reaching millions. By the time of his death in 1955, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” had sold nearly 5 million copies. Carnegie’s legacy, the Dale Carnegie Institute, has grown to serve students in 15 countries and over 700 U.S. cities, teaching Carnegie’s philosophies to those keen to enhance their public speaking and communication skills.
3 of Dale Carnegie’s Most Important Teachings:
Because Dale Carnegie’s teachings have proven invaluable for so many people, his legacy will forever live on and his most important lessons will continue to be absorbed by individuals looking to improve both themselves and their life circumstances. In each and every one of his books, Carnegie masterfully shows how we can improve our communication skills, relationships with others, and overall life circumstances. While it is no easy task picking just three of his teachings, here we have aimed to illuminate three of the most important:
Change Your Own Behavior to Change Others:
Carnegie was a pioneering figure in relationship dynamics and extensively studied the effectiveness of communication strategies. It was through this work that the personal development icon came to understand how the natural approach of communicating from a place of self-centredness greatly limits our ability to influence others. For example, although it is easy to criticize the actions of loved ones, peers, and other acquaintances in moments of conflict or disagreement, such critique seldom leads to the communication results we desire. Carnegie told us:
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”
Rather than blaming or condemning, Carnegie believed that each individual possesses the power to shape the behavior of others by adjusting their own approach. This is why the legendary teacher encouraged his students, promising the enhanced abilities to build better relationships and influence others, to replace criticism with sincere appreciation and encouragement.
Be a Nice Person:
Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, outlines 20 vital principles of interpersonal behavior, with nearly half of these, the initial nine tenets, revolving around the power of friendliness. Not only did Carnegie realize one can significantly amplify their ability to influence by cultivating compassion and empathy within, but also that there are a number of communication strategies we can employ to become more likable and win people to our side. The inspirational icon told us:
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
For instance, Carnegie told us that by becoming genuinely interested in other people, we can turn enemies into allies and strangers into friends. Also, by making others feel valued, respected, and important, we can build lasting relationships that bring out the best in people.
Live in Day-Tight Compartments:
If you are like most people, much of your time is spent thinking and worrying about the past or future, and it’s for this reason that a fundamental takeaway from Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, is the idea of living in day-tight compartments. This principle advises us to hold onto our long-term vision while channeling our energy into the daily tasks at hand. By doing so, we can dispel the stress that accompanies mentally replaying past events and forecasting too far into the future. Carnegie encouraged us to strive for living one moment at a time by saying:
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. Why not live in day-tight compartments?”
In addition to living in day-tight compartments, another powerful way to gain present-moment power over anxiety is to understand and adhere to the truth of incremental improvement. This principle assures us that even tiny steps toward our goals, when taken consistently, can lead to monumental achievements over time. It encourages us to find solace in the small victories that pave the path to our ultimate success, thus liberating us from the unnerving emotions that arise when immediate triumph eludes us. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day and true success is a culmination of persistent effort, not a single, sweeping victory.
Let us not get so busy or live so fast that we can’t listen to the music of the meadow or the symphony that glorifies the forest. Some things in the world are far more important than wealth; one of them is the ability to enjoy simple things.”
Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.”
Fear is the result of a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence is the result of not knowing what you can do. A lack of knowing what you can do is caused by a lack of experience. A lack of experience is caused by a lack of doing something new.”